On the go

Well, I didn't stay home alone for very long. :)

I help in Emma's class now while Abby is in school on Tuesday and Thursday. Abby also has preschool on Fridays but Matt usually gets home a little early on Fridays so he keeps me company. Life is busy and crazy and good.

I started my own preschool from my home and I love it! It has a total of 3 kids, including Abby. She is such a trooper. She does my preschool (she calls it home preschool) eats lunch and then does preschool at the school for two hours ( I would have had her just do mine at home but she needs speech therapy). I was worried she would get burnt out, but she loves it. I know she loves having her cousin come over (Gracie!) and our friend James is fun too.

What surpised me is how much I enjoy it. I really feel like it is something I was meant to do. I get so motivated whenever I look at my cirricullum. So many fun things to do. I really just love early childhood education. We are doing the "letter of the week" cirricullum and this week is B.

Bears, Bugs, Butterflies, Balloons, Brownies! B is a great letter!

Well I better get going the kids are starting to stir already.

Surprised

So it just happened...

just now....not 10 minutes ago.

I dropped Abby off at preschool.

I am home alone.

All these years... all the plans I had made when I was finally able to do what I want....and now all I can do is watch the clock and see if I can go pick her up yet. It's only a two hour class, 3 days a week. She has been so excited all week. She asked me 5 or 6 times a day " Can we talk about my preschool?". Then came today, her "Special" Day. All day long she has been telling me stories of 'a happy little girl who had so much fun at her new school' and singing songs entitled "Today is Abby's special day" and "Today is my preschool Day". We even said a little prayer in which she asked Heavenly Father to "bless Abby that she will have a very fun day". We went to the school early and waited a while for the teachers to come out to greet the children. She gave me a big hug and ran right in to start popping bubbles. I called to her a few times but couldn't get her attention, she finally saw me and humored me with one more hug and a gorgeous smile. I turned to go, finding it extremely hard to leave, when suddenly it happened, a little piece of my heart broke. I have no more babies. I had planned to feel exhilarated and excited at my new found free time but instead all I feel is heartache.

Silly me.

I am excited for her, she is SO ready to learn, so advanced for her age. She will love every minute of it. It is time for Mom to let go. To let the baby be the little girl. I know I will be okay, in fact, I am already lined up to go help in Emma's class next week while Abby's at school. I just really was caught off guard when tears burst into my eyes as I pulled away from the school. I am not a bawler...but today I feel like it. My baby is gone....and in her place is a amazing, intelligent, sweet, kind little girl who I am very proud of today.